So, normally, my fellow WSPTOTT blogger and I agree on most school things. But when it comes to male teachers, she doesn’t seem to get the attraction. However, I definitely do.
Women, young or old, all love a nerd. Nerds are practically the definition of safe. And with safety, comes responsibility, security and generosity. Nerds don’t look like they will shag around or fuck you over (a big plus!) And, on top of it all, nerds are clever. Clever is sexy, clever is powerful and clever is witty. (I’m already convinced!)
Male teachers also have to dress smartly – and this means wearing a suit. Oh, the power of a suit. A suit has many layers (metaphorically – as well as physically.)
Firstly, a suit can give men a shape that you never knew existed. When I was at school, a particular science teacher wore his trousers so tight, that I could have given him a ‘Rear of the Year’ award. In fact, just thinking about it makes me hot under the collar. Another example is Mr Burton from Channel 4’s ‘Educating Yorkshire’ – he wore especially tight trousers, and there was something about his long, slim legs that kind of made me crazy. They looked great!
Secondly, a shirt and tie. When a man is all suited and booted, looking neat and tidy, it makes women think more about what they would be like out of the suit. Have you ever watched a man loosen his tie? It’s honestly an open invite for you to mentally undress him.
Thirdly, class. A man in a suit looks classy. I don’t want to see any half-hearted shirt and jumper attempts, and I certainly don’t want to see a shirt without a tie – that’s just lazy. When a male teacher wears a full suit, you know that they have carefully selected it, maybe even had it fitted, and have also had to colour coordinate their shirt and tie that morning. That’s pretty organised – and pretty bloody sexy.
Are you convinced yet? No? Let me tell you about the power of male teachers – because of course, it’s definitely a power thing. The suit, plus the intelligence, plus the authority – means that power is literally oozing out of male teachers. Earlier this year, I watched a male teacher command the attention of a room with just one look. I went weak at the knees. The respect he had was unreal – wouldn’t it be great to date someone who was that well respected?
Aside from it all though, there is nothing more logical than marrying another teacher. Not only will they have the same holidays as you, the working day can finish early if childcare arrangements need to be sorted – and with two of you in the profession, you can take it in turns to decide who leaves school early to pick the kids up.
Also, when marrying a teacher, you know what you are getting. You’ve probably seen their office – you can probably guess what they are like in terms of tidiness and organisation. You also know that they like children – they spend every day with them, after all. Finally, you know how they deal with children. If a man is authoritative – you know he will (hopefully) raise a child who is well behaved with good manners.
And – fellow teachers, let’s not forget about the honeymoon. You’ve got a guaranteed six weeks to spend in a nice hot country, celebrating your new found happiness. It all sounds pretty idyllic, right? (Of course, this is all dependant on the fact that your marriage is bliss, and doesn’t end sourly – because that could be all kinds of awkward.)
Finally, I like to reassure myself that it is totally acceptable to fancy male teachers – because I’m pretty sure they love the attention. As a school kid, I knew of males teachers who soaked it up. You could see it as they walked down the corridor, girls would part to the side to let the hunky, Brad Pitt-esque teacher walk through, and he would smile smugly and walk away a little taller – and a little prouder. (Looking back now, he probably wasn’t even that good looking. But he had pretty blonde hair and looked like a man, not a boy, and that was all we teenage girls wanted.)
And I think that is the long and short of this whole thing. Girls, and women, want to ogle at men – not boys. In a school setting, men are pretty rare – so the minute they step through the front gates – they are already winning. This, added to the issues raised above – means that we women (and often – teenage girls) are convinced into thinking that male teachers are the king of all men. And I’m yet to be persuaded otherwise!