Some days I start the morning off feeling SO positive, getting my work done and feeling like a total boss. But sometimes by lunchtime, there’s been such a severe “train wreck*” in a lesson that it’s hard to imagine how the day started so well.
Take today for example, I smashed through a load of mock papers, did my photocopying, had a fab Year 10 lesson, my tutor group were ace, and then came my Y8s.
A little background history. Y8 Set 2 have been my babies. They have been the class I have followed right through my training year. I love them and (I think) they love me too. They even clapped me last week when they realised I had fully qualified. They’re cute.
So why would I be worried about teaching them? I wouldn’t, you’re correct.
However as I stepped into their lesson today, from about the third minute, I could tell it was going to be total and utter CARNAGE.
And boy, I was not wrong.
Imagine everything possible going wrong. Assessments can’t be found, people haven’t got pens, copies of the book we were using have disappeared, projector wasn’t working, 13 year old boys are trying to be cooler and funnier than they will ever achieve. You get the picture.
I felt like I was disappearing into quick sand. Every minute was painful. In a flustered moment as I sent a student to find the book we needed, another student turned to me and said “Miss, don’t act like anything is wrong…”
SHIT I thought. He’s sussed me, he knows I am having a total meltdown!
“… but (student’s name) is really upset and you should probably speak to her.”
As I stared at this child, I put the whole thing together. Someone was upset but I needed to act like nothing was wrong. Thank God for that! I blinked a few times before nodding, turning on my heel and going to speak to the mentioned, upset child.
Can you believe it? The lesson was going so bloody badly that I thought even the kids could tell I was being, what felt like, a totally shit teacher.
As I waited for the lesson from hell to end, I looked towards the upset child, and couldn’t blame her for crying. I thought I might shed a tear myself.
*Train wreck = a situation where everything turns to shit.